I have so much to be grateful for and yet I just feel down today. Kids are fighting like mad, Wyatt hasn't been sleeping, the house looks like an explosion went off in every room. Wyatt only wants to stand and I feel mad about it. Genuinely mad and resentful. I feel ripped off with my baby because he doesn't want to be a baby anymore. I think he's going to be our earliest walker--I bet he takes steps in his 7th month. And I know it's ridiculous to feel mad about his in light of everything, but there you have it.
I'm even depressed about this warm weather. It doesn't feel like Christmas at all and yet we did enjoy our afternoon on the lawn (tree), see above.
My calling stresses me out. Especially when Ty is traveling with stake business and I have a screaming baby that can't stand the sight of anyone else anymore and I'm trying to lead singing time with a baby strapped in the sling and it's pulling my shirt down flashing the entire senior primary. Equals depression. And I kind of hyperventilate when I think that I have to do this every week. For forever. It feels like. And yet, I should be grateful. I have so much.
I love my kids, and my husband and the Gospel and I'm so thankful for our earthly comforts and possessions and our peace and prosperity but sometimes you just need a big batch of cookie dough and a good book.